ANNOUNCEMENT: EDGER 99-CENT E-BOOK SALE

When the world needs a good superhero, a dork will rise! Meet Edger Bonkovich, an Über Dork by name and profession. He’s got one good head on his shoulders and 108 billion more in his brain.

Edger’s superpower is the ability to access the Collective Unconscious, a psychic database connecting the living and the dead. In his arsenal are the skills of Bruce Lee, the magic of Houdini, and the dancing chops of Michael Jackson, including that one twisty-foot move, crotch grab, and fedora tilt.

Join our dork of destiny for a tale of cows, cocaine, Jesus chickens, and Rapture, by Blondie. People: sexy just got dorky.